i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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