He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
