It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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