Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
