Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize