Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
