i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
