Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
