people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
