allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
