ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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