He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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