goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my being single is dangerous.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
