You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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