If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize