So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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