They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize