beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
