the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize