we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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