that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
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Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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