Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
