For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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