I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
