yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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