My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
