Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
