id be glad to
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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