tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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