I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize