He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
