if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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