don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
