I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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