Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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