do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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