I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
