The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize