dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
