Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I want is dick and wine.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
