how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
either way he was missing a nipple.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
