He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize