Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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