I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
