i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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