If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
