Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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