I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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