Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
