I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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