And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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