My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
