great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
