glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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