I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
