and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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