I think im going to throw up on grandma
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
