He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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