Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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